please ignore, seriously!!!

In my social culture, girls my age are considered mature enough and supposedly very eligible to be married. It is just natural that after graduated college, having a decent job and income, etc., people expect us to have a family. 

Despite of that, all these years, I never thought myself in a picture of a family of my own, even the least of it, having a spouse or a partner – a boyfriend. I honestly think that having that kind of situation would complicate things. There would be more to think about, to worry about, more responsibility, and it seems that I could never think otherwise. Though that I never exactly talk about it with my family, since I am not good at argument and talking, I reckon them, above all other people in the world, would be understand. 

Lately, when my school friends are already married, then naturally having their children, my mother became very agitated, she kept asking when will I have the same thing as them, do I have a boyfriend, when will I get married, etc., and making me very much annoyed. I know it is natural to be that way, but I expect my family would know better than just other people, and not asking that kind of question. 

The arguments that had been used by my mother were; what am I waiting for, I am getting older, and the older I got, the odds for it would be less; my parents aren’t getting younger, they want to see me married before they passed away; and it is their obligation to find me a husband. 

Well, though there is nothing wrong about their worries, I still find it hard to cope. What about me? It’s my life they talking about, had it never occur to them what exactly I want for my life? A friend of me once said that he used to think just like me (he just get married few months ago), he said that we just got to find the perfect reason for each one of us to do so. Well, I just happened not there yet, I haven’t found my reason. So, since my whole future is at stake here, doing it just to give a relief for my mother is not good enough for a reason, right? I just wish she would understand and see the things as I see it.